It's one my favorite time of year. That magical time of year when TV shows stop their needless reruns and return to new episodes. The time of year where Saturdays are spent in front of the TV watching college football. The time of year where the trees turn colors and the temperature dips to that pleasant point to where you can wear jeans and a light jacket out of your house. The time of year where my creativity shines like never before.

I have been taking a retreat from the day to day world that surrounds me here in Wilmington and have trapped myself in my apartment on a much needed soul searching mission. During this mission I have watched classic movies such as Casablanca and Singing in the Rain. I have caught up with TV shows like Heroes and The Office. I have reorganized and cleaned every square inch of my small apartment probably twice. And most of all I've wrote. Wrote random thoughts, random ideas, started a couple short stories, edited a couple screenplays but mostly got everything that has been bouncing around my head out onto "paper." I say "paper" because it is all saved into my computer but I like the term paper better. I have figured out what I like about TV shows and movies and what styles I would love to integrate into my own and what styles I would love to bring back. I took my brain from one extreme to another, experienced new things with watching True Blood for the first time and most of all I rested. I rested my mind, my body and my soul. It was the best vacation ever because I had no expectations, no one to please but myself.

As a new month is approaching so is a new outlook on life for me. I have expected things to come to me. For everything to fall into place. And for the most part a bunch of it has. But I'm done letting life go on around me. I'm taking this bull by the horns and riding it to where ever. A new plan of action has been devised with the help of friends and family and I am working my way through 3 pages worth of To-Do Lists to put this plan into action. September is going to be a really good month for me. Big changes and big things will be happing around me and I can't wait to share them all with you.

I read a review in the Hollywood Reporter today (well it was from back on the 20th but with snail mail I just received it Friday) about the new movie Post Grad. It wasn't the worst review I've ever read but it wasn't one with lots of praise for the movie either. After finishing the article I tore out the page and put it on my fridge because this was the kind of review that I wouldn't want for my first film. The screenplay was by a first time writer and the review of the writing alone was enough to make me want to have 5 more people read my screenplay before I ever think of doing anything with it. From now on I'm going to be reading these reviews very carefully and pulling out these reviews that I don't want to have and good ones of movies that I can learn from.

With the prospects of potential work coming and several wonderful vacations planned, some of them I will be taking some of them will be taken to come see me, I'm very much looking forward to the fall. Good TV, good sports, good weather, good family, good friends, and I'm thankful for them all. Life is good right now and I hope it only gets better from here.

Fight On

What doesn't kill you makes you stinger. What hurts you can motivate and inspire you. A simple sunset over the water can clear your head. While a sunrise can envigerate your soul. As I sit here on the dock by the river looking at the goreguous orange, purple and pink sunset I am conflicted and confused. If you didn't already know I moved recently. It has been one of the scariest, weirdest, drive testing, happiest, craziest, mental unstablest times I have ever faced. I moved to a city 2000 miles from home knowing no one and having only a few encounters with the city. I have made new friends and hurt a few good ones along the way but overall it has been a journey of growth and renewal. Renewal from the life I had been living at home. Renewal from the trials and tribulations I was facing there. A chance to start over, to branch out, to reach for the stars without a safety net. I came in expecting to conquer the world in no time getting everything that I ever dreamed off immediately. What I quickly learned is that this road was an uphill climb full of steep parts and some leveling out slightly but it would be something that I would have to fight for everyday. It has had it's fun day as well as it's down right depressing days. I have gone with very few breakdowns and only a really bad week or two but I have had to fight for it all the way. I didn't take the easy way in choosing this road I'm on. There is nothing easy about the dreams I dream. You have to fight and fight to get where you want to go. Just like a fish fights to get up the stream that is forcing it the other way I must force my way into this industry. As the sun sinks lower and I look at my surrounds and overwheming sense of piece is over me. Not because I have all that I could wish for, because I am far from it. But because I know just as the sun will rise and set over this river tomorrow I will make my way through this journey. I might not always do the right thing or be the best person I can be but I will try my best because that is all that I can do. The early settlers of this city faced their own challenges far beyond anything I could ever imagine. And yet I am sitting here on the very river they sailed upon all of the years later with my new technology and all the possibilties in the world and I know that I will make it. I will not give up, take no for an answer, let others get me down, no I will face all my critics and synics and do what I was sent here to do. God has a plan for me and even though I might always understand or agree with it's twists and turns I will fight on. Tomorrow is a new day and today is only what I make of it.

[Posted from my iPhone. ]

It's Been Awhile

So I realized it's been a long time since I did a quality update on my life. Well so much has happened and gone on that I can't really remember it to write it all out so I will just update you on my weekend and tell you about some exciting things coming up tomorrow.

This weekend I took a little trip down to Savannah, GA. I wish I could say it was for a nice relaxing weekend getaway but it was for work. Which is exciting because it's been a while since I've had work to do. Before I can talk about the weekend I must fill you in on a little of the back story. Lindsay, my best friend, works in Disney World at the Contemporary hotel. One day while she was working at the front desk she met a man who is a producer out in LA. They started talking about some projects that he had going and he stated that he was looking for an editor. Being my constant promoter she mentioned me and hyped me up. After exchanging a couple of e-mails he looked at some of the work I had completed and must have liked what he saw because he wanted me to do an entire test project. In short it was a short film shoot in Savannah showcasing the area for another producer that he knew who was looking in the area. So I set out for Savannah Friday morning to run my very first film shoot, granted it wasn't that big of a shoot, just me and Lindsay, my camera, a tripod, and a small script that got thrown out the window immediately.

Friday was spent going around the area looking at locations and areas that I wanted to film and finalizing the concept for the video. Considering the only direction I was given for the project was shoot Savannah, have fun doing it and make it between 10 minutes and 2 hours long I had no idea what I was going to do for sure. After a delicious dinner at Her Lady and Sons (Paula Dean's local restaurant for those who don't know) and a small strategy session at dinner we went back to the hotel and prepared for a long day of filming on Saturday. A cloudy sky kept the temperature bearable as we ran around Savannah capturing scene after scene. Finally after visiting Wormsloe Historical Site, the rain set in a filming was wrapped for the day. Another dinner at One Eyed Lizzie's and figuring out what was left to be completed yet again went back to the hotel to rest and prepare.

This morning we were greeted with clear skies and perfect weather (that I was hoping for Saturday) which made for a hot day of filming but the shoots we got are beautiful. After a couple hours and a couple last scenes we finished shooting. Now I know this little test shoot might not be exciting to most people but this is the first time that I am doing a project for someone else to see specifically. Most of the other projects I have ever done have been for fun and never seen by anyone so for my first project I was very excited/very nervous. I feel like I have a concept (that I will share after I have completed it) that showcases everything from my directing, camera, producing, editing, and overall skills. I have to combined the 114 scenes we filmed into the final project by Friday.

Tomorrow will be mostly out due to a last minute call to extra in the morning at 7:15 and a job interview (yes I said JOB INTERVIEW) at noon. I'm very excited about this interview because it is with Right Point Media, a local production company that does commercials, TV shows as well as other local projects for a PA position. I sent them my resume a while back thinking that it couldn't hurt to try but I probably didn't have enough experience to warrant anything. The fact that they called for an interview shocked me and I have never been more excited and nervous for an interview. Crossing fingers and toes for this one to work out.

Creatively I have never felt better. I can't wait to share this little movie with you all after it is completed. I hope you will enjoy it.

Songs I Forgot About.

Cruising through my iTunes tonight I found an old Savage Garden CD. I forgot how good their music was/is. I used to live by the song Affirmation. The lyrics spoke to me and for some reason today they did again. I miss my home. I miss my family and friends. I miss going to baseball games and watching fireworks. I miss eating at Abuelos. I miss working at KHOG. I miss it all. I love being here, I love this adventure and everything that has happened since I got here but I just miss home. I'm sorry to anyone I have taken it out on in the last week or so but I haven't known how to process these or any other feelings that I have had. The perfect storm of emotional breakdowns has hit and I don't know how to deal with them when they happen. Luckily I am breaking out of it slowly but surely.

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse tv evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
Until you say goodbye
Oh no no no no no