After watching a lot of movies this weekend I started to think, these smaller roles that every actor takes in the beginning of their career. Those cheesy, corny, non-Oscar winning roles, do they regret them later on in their careers or do they simply look back on them with a fondness of where they came from? Just a little something for you to ponder the night time you watch a movie.
My Weekend
Movies I Watched This Weekend:
Alex and Emma
The Perfect Man
From Justin to Kelly
Garden State
The Good Girl
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
America's Sweetheart
A Walk to Remember
Saved
What a Girl Wants
The List
Summer Catch
Sister Act
13 movies so far since Friday night. Someone please rescue me from my apartment. Just kidding. I have gotten a lot of inspiration and ideas from all of these movies and have been very entertained.
Geeking Out for the Weekend
I have been a slight loser over the past couple days. Except for escaping for a job interview yesterday and a little bit of Bibis's show tonight I haven't really left my apartment over the last couple days. I have been holed up in my one bedroom oasis watching movie that I have long since forgot about or haven't ever seen and remembering what it is about film that started this whole passion of mine in the first place. It started out innocently enough. After watch the trailer for The List online a couple weeks ago I decided to treat myself and rent the movie on iTunes. After uploading it to my iPod and plugging it into my TV I settled in to view what Wilmington has to offer on film. This was the first movie that I had ever watched knowing exactly where it was filmed and had seen and been to the areas where it was filmed. I have to admit it was strange seeing some of the same landmarks that I drive past almost daily but the story kept me interested in other things. It was a really good movie. I have always been a big nerd when it comes to the Civil War, going to reenactments, learning as much as possible about it, randomly going to old battlefields for the heck of it. It was interesting to see a story that had such a southern basis to it. While I was watching it I decided that I should watch as many movies that were made in Wilmington as possible, just to see what has come out of this place. Granted I had seen a lot of them and owned more of them than I realized but it was good to revisit them.
Next came the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. This is a movie that I had no idea was filmed in Wilmington until I started my research into the area. Such an amazing movie and one that gets a tear from me every time. After falling asleep half way through because I started the movie at about 3 am I finished the end the next morning. Still as powerful as I remember. It was one of those that while I worked at the movie theater I saw very often, from sneaking in on breaks and non-breaks to going on my days off I watched the movie several times. After now knowing that it was filmed around here I am impressed that they turned North Carolina into Louisiana, some of that movie magic that I love so much.
After I finished Ya-Ya Sisterhood I moved on to the original movie that started my passion in film, A Walk to Remember. Had you told me when I walked into that theater all those years ago that this movie would be the inspiration for my life I would probably have laughed at you. Especially if you had told me I would move to the place it was filmed in years later. It's almost like destiny slowly pushed me towards Wilmington and the life I am leading now. This movie was the first that touched me on more than just the story level. The scenery, the actors, the music, the story line, the whole package of the movie sparked something inside me that I can not explain to this day. I know it's not your most conventional movie to say started it all but I'm not normal so I'm ok with it. This movie was the first I saw before I started working for the movie theater. It was the one that prompted me to take my own shot at writing. I honestly never knew exactly where they filmed it, I just knew it was some where in North Carolina. I always had that thought in the back of my mind when I wanted to make my own movie. This was the prettiest place I had seen on film in a long time and I wanted to make it apart of my movie. Hence why my first draft, and newest draft of my movie are set in North Carolina. It wouldn't be until 8 years later (wow I can't believe it's been 8 years) that I would find out that it was filmed in Wilmington (to be honest I didn't know that it was filmed here until I got here and someone mentioned it, you can tell how good my research skills are). I haven't watched the movie in years because of a combination of factors but it was really good to watch it again. I cried like a baby in the end like always and really took in all of the scenes that came across. It wasn't just the movie it was everything about it.
After A Walk to Remember I popped in Summer Catch. Yet again another movie that I had no idea was filmed in Wilmington. Lets face it until I decided to go through with this radical dream I didn't really know much about Wilmington's film industry just that they filmed Dawson's Creek and One Tree Hill here, I have since learned my lesson on lack of research and found that this area has been and will be a great area for production. This movie was my comfort when things got hard in the relationship department. Why I don't really know but it combined several of my favorite things at the time (some of which are still true) 1) guys in baseball uniforms, 2) Freddie Prinze Jr. 3) a good sappy love story 4) baseball/sports theme and 5) guys in baseball uniforms. I still love this movie and all of it's cheesiness. It was a nice to rewatch it and remember why I loved it in the first place.
After Summer Catch I got distracted from my original plan and watched random other movies. Since then I have watched The Good Girl, Garden State, Alex and Emma, What a Girl Wants, and Sister Act. All amazing movies that I had stored away and kind of forgotten about. Next on my trek through my 200+ DVD's is America's Sweetheart. I love having movie weekends even tho I feel like a loner and shut in it's nice to revisit movies and remembering exactly what it is about movies that inspires me and that I want to achieve. I will never view movies the same, I look at random none important things that most people wouldn't see or I see the way they framed a particular shot and think I how much I would to do something like that with my movie. I'm a film geek now and always will be and I am glad I am.
What do you do?
What do you do when you can see what you want to be doing and can’t do it? Not because you are physically unable to but because you just aren’t able to. I want to make films, movies, and entertainment but right now I can’t. I look out my window and see the beauty of the world. I walk down the street and want to photograph, film, and document the happenings on it. I could sit and observe and document for hours and never get tired of it. Something about this area screams “PUT ME ON FILM. SHOW ME TO THE WORLD.” I walk down front street and it has a history, a story to tell, and not only is this story amazing but it has the potential to be the silent co-star to an amazing story. The sites, sounds, people all connect in a way that I have never experienced before. For this reason I never just want to sit in my apartment, I want to be out experiencing, allowing the city to inspire me, influence me, change me. I look at the world differently now. I see a building and I wonder what this light on that corner with this angle will do to the scenery of it. I wonder how much more dramatic this scene that I play over and over in my head from my script will look at this spot. I think oh the possibilities are endless if I set the camera right here and just let someone improv with the world around them. I see it all. I observe many. I walk and the inspiration hits me at such a speed that I don’t remember have of what I came up with when I sit down to write it out. I get out and do things and I want to share them with the world because the people and the places and events are worth sharing. It’s all worth sharing. My life is not exciting. I don’t do exciting things. I live, I breathe, I walk, and I talk just like everyone else but the lives I observe here are exciting, they are worth talking about. The movie that is my baby has even changed from this move. I have seen locations that I see my characters in. I see them living and breathing in the areas around me. Now more than ever I want to see this movie made. Whether I make it myself or I am brave enough to pass my script on to another to make it this is where the story is meant to be made. These are the places my characters live. It took a move across the country for me to really see my characters to really observe them in the world around me. And not just them, all kinds of other characters creep out of the dark shadows of my mind and into the world around me. I think I was always meant to be in Wilmington. I was destined to arrive and create here. I don’t know the avenue at which it will happen but I know that I have stories to tell, to document, to write and now that I am here I am able to do that.
So what do you do when you can see what you want to be doing and can’t do it? You don’t settle for can’t. You go out and make it happen. That’s what I’m going to do. If I have to spend the rest of my life working 3 jobs, waiting tables, cleaning up after people, or whatever it takes I will do it. If I never make any money on a film or even ever get a paying job on a film. If I only make movies and write stories that I show to my family and friends. I’m going to do it. I will be a champion for this region and all it has to offer. I’m going to go out and document this world that I am now living in. I’m going to tell my stories and make my movies even if I have to do without in the process. I don’t need the finer things in life (even though I do enjoy them), I don’t need the latest car or the biggest house. I just need to know that everyday when I wake up I have done something creative that I have strived to do the best that I can. This is the life that I have chosen and I’m going to make the most of it for myself. Tomorrow I start filming, tomorrow I sit down and write for real, tomorrow I get back to the job hunting like I’ve been doing for a month now. But for tonight I plan, I think and I create lists because that is who I am.
Inspiration
I talk a lot about inspiration and the random inspiration I get fairly often but I wanted to touch on it again because well lets face it, I've been hit with another wave of inspiration recently. As you know I recently moved and with this move have meet new people and done and experienced new things. Because of this I have found new inspirations that I wasn't expecting.
I recently read in a book this “Inspiration is not a moment in which you discover something new. Rather it’s a moment when you rediscover something of yourself. Of your own dreaming, energy, and faith. Of your own love, humor, and strength. When inspiration comes in the form of a film, painting, or song, the experience reflects back something that’s already in you.” I have always had the desire to make films, to write, to create but the moments when I rediscover it in myself are so precious. Inspiration abounds in Wilmington for me. From walking downtown and by the river, to driving down to the beach and just reflecting staring at the water, to hearing the powerful voice of Bibis every Tuesday (and sometimes if I'm lucky other nights) of the week, to seeing other people following their dreams of creating and witnessing it for the first time in person. Everything about this place inspires me. Now I might not always be motivated to write, or film but that is a whole other battle with laziness, job hunting and other prior commitments. But I am always thinking here. Not of my problems or dramas but how would this location look with this lighting, or these two people who are so clearly in love would make a wonderful story. I'm observing and taking in more than I ever have. From the way a bird flies over my head to the annoying frog that resurfaces every night just to scare me at the bottom of my stairs. I am a sponge absorbing everything for the first time.
Now I don't know if it's because I'm in a new place or because this dream and this passion of mine as been able to be unleashed and tapped into but I love this new outlook I have. I want to film everything. I want to tell every story. I wish I had the ability to just document every little none exciting thing to share to the world. I want to make movies, I want to write out stories, I want to film and act and produce. I want to do it all and I never have wanted it more than I do now. I want to make the movie that has been my baby for 5 years now. I want to go out set up a camera and shoot. That is all I want to do, create, be apart of this film community that is just that a community. You can sense it every where you go. The arts are alive in Wilmington and I want to be apart of that.
As much as I miss home and my family I know this is where I was meant to be. I feel it with every ounce of my body. It's not home because no where will ever replace home but it is as close as you can get. The friends I have made, the new friends I have yet to make, the things I have experienced and the vast amount that I haven't have all made this the easiest transition I have had to a new place and I think it's because for the first time in my life I can be 100% myself. I can be the artsy, athletic, dorky, imaginative, sometimes social, sometimes isolated, theater junky, T-shirt and jeans wearing, childish, mature, sensitive, smart ass person that I am inside. There is no trying to impress anyone, no trying to fit in with any group, just me making it as I am with no apologies for it.
I made this little montage tonight after a wave of inspiration hit me again. Hope you enjoy it.
Favorite Promos
I have been watching reruns of Beverly Hills 90210 and The OC on SOAPnet because I didn't have the channel at home and these commercials come on all the time. I love them because they combine music that I love with shows that I love.
Time Flies When Your Having Fun
Well we have already reached the month of July. Where has this year gone?
3 weeks ago tomorrow I moved into my little 1 bedroom apartment in Wilmington, NC. What a 3 weeks it has been. When I was preparing myself to move I don't think I ever would have guessed that I would be as happy and settled as I am. It's a weird feeling to feel completely at home in a new place even after such a short amount of time.
Some of the settling came from my parents pimping out my apartment. Some from the week of amazingness with the 7 other crazy girls. Some from getting out and exploring. But mostly because this is where I'm supposed to be. I know deep down that I was meant to move here and that I made the right choice no matter how hard it might be.
I don't have a job, I don't have a source of income other than my parents, but I have all the confidence in the world that all of this will work out exactly how it is supposed to. I will find a job, in one field or another, I will continue to meet people and expand my network of friends, and I will find success in this town. It's all just a matter of time.
This town has also been amazing for my creative side. I have never been more inspired and ready to write, film and create. I can't stop thinking of new ideas, or seeing how a shot would look in a specific area. This town has a creative energy that seeps from every area and every person. I can see why it has been such a center for entertainment for so long. Its a community that understands and appreciates the arts and everything that comes with that. Just walking downtown by the river or down the beach I get a energy that it took weeks to build up at home. I will find so many more stories inside me and so many things to share from this place, I know.
As easily as I have adjust and as amazing as everything has been I know that hard times are going to happen and I will hit some low points but I am willing to face it all and see where this crazy adventure is going to take me.
I Feel Like I'm In Church
This is for Lauren, who you can hear in the background talking right as the song starts.
